Watch your language

Words carry tremendous power. And we often under-estimate just how much our words do affect other people. I regularly see clients who are still carrying around the unhelpful things parents have said (either unwittingly or knowingly).

Whatever you say to someone will produce some kind of reaction in that person. Good, bad or somewhere in between.

The words we choose, not only represent our meaning to others but also reinforce that meaning to ourselves – in other words we reaffirm what we say in our minds. It goes something like this: I said this, so therefore I must believe it. A human tendency is to believe what we hear, so we need to be mindful about what we expose our ears to.

Our physiology responds to the strength of the words and statements. In this way our choice of words is an instruction for our physiology to follow. Strong words produce strong reactions. That can be a great thing when you use strong words and statements that are positive – like, “I feel fabulous” or “The sky is beautiful”. On the other hand, strong words and statements that are negative, tend to be detrimental to us.

Try it for yourself. Imagine hearing someone say “I was furious.” Then imagine hearing them say “I was a tad peeved.”

It feels totally different doesn’t it? Diluting the word, dilutes the meaning and the resulting effect it has on your psychology is also diluted.

strong positive words => strong positive reaction

mild positive words => mild positive reaction

strong negative words => strong negative reaction

mild negative words => mild negative reaction

Why do this?
However true you may feel the stronger version to be, it just doesn’t serve you on a psychological level. It is much more useful to you to use a milder word and in doing so you will lessen the emotional impact of a situation.

Example:
“I was furious” becomes => “I was a bit peeved”.
“I was devastated” becomes => “I was disappointed”

Have a think about what words and statements you’ve been using, that you could transform more constructively…

Three main things to remember:
1. Strengthen positive words
2. Dilute negative words
3. If you say something often enough, you tend to end up believing it. So choose your words carefully. They seep into your consciousness.

A little homework:
Add more positive words to your vocabulary. Try some of these (download feelgoodwords.pdf size:37K).

Finally…
Our words carry messages which create reactions in others. Ask yourself, what message am I sending when I speak?

“Language is a mirror of the mind.”
- Noam Chomsky