Self Talk: Is it working for you or against you?

(A lesson on how NOT to take yourself seriously.)

We’ve all heard about the importance of positive self-talk. We all want it. Right? So, how can we dump our negative self-talk and start giving ourselves the ‘cheerleader’ we really deserve?

Let’s start by investigating your self-talk (ie. how you do it inside your head) Grab a pen and some paper.

Whose voice is it? Is it yours? Is it your mother’s, father’s, partner’s, someone else?

What does the tone sound like? Is it harsh, rejecting, loud, sarcastic or is it kind, gentle, encouraging? Describe it.

Context vs. Content: The (sneaky) sideways approach

It is far easier to strip the importance of the negative message away by changing the context (how we do it) than by refuting or rejecting the content (the message).

What happens to the power of the words if you…

…turn the volume right down?

…or turn the voice into a spluttering Donald Duck? or Yoda?

How seriously do you take this message now?

Almost too simple isn’t it? Yes, but it works. By adjusting the context you can take the power away from the discouraging voice inside. You’ll find that after a while the script disappears on its own because the message no longer causes an emotional reaction inside you. (All bullies know that there’s no point picking on someone who doesn’t react and doesn’t care.)